It's ok to screw up.
It's ok to screw up.
It's ok to screw up.
I recognize this truth on an intellectual level, the place in a man's mind where the gears and joints of a concept combine, but I have yet to find the energy source that will animate this concept and apply it.
It's ok to screw up translates to, it's ok to try, translates to, get off your ass and do something. And that's where I fall short. 28 seems a tad late to start, to finally realize no great loss is likely from merely trying. The fear is more hypothetical even than the principal. And ultimately more insidious.
The idea that anything and everything one tries is doomed to failure is only half the infection, the rest of it is made of a belief that there is no return from failure, that life's experiences are somehow mathematic in their consistency, that an instance constitutes a proof.
Once embraced, this can become a lifestyle, a philosophy, it has become my default. To the point that recently the depth and impact of its application has laid waste to everything in a mounting and dramatic depression. The effect was so profound the mechanism has not even spared its self.
I am left with just enough self to say, confidently, "I.' And must through discipline create a self capable of more.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment